Put on your Big Girl Pants and---GET OVER IT!

I wanted to write about the experience I had in having Gavin diagnosed, in hopes that another parent or parents will read this....and realize they can do it too! :0)

It was a HARD decision to make to physically sit down an the computer, and begin "Google-ing" Autism Spectrum Disorders and having to scroll through and read through 'check-lists' and to realize through tear filled eyes that when answering these questions honestly that your son, does in fact, answer 'yes' to more of them than you would like.

It is even harder to bring yourself to (once again) to look up why your baby is twitching, and grunting.....after you look at all the other boys his age sitting on that Little League bench in all their matchy-glory and realize, he's the only one doing it.

There is some sort of comfort in 'over-looking' the signs. It is easier, in a sense, to  trick yourself into thinking "Maybe this is normal? Maybe the grunting, or not looking people in the eyes is just a part of him growing up". Some kids bite their nails (which...as of late has become a topic for discussion in our home. Gavin cannot seem to stop. A new tick, perhaps?), some children won't eat peas. Maybe this is just his...."thing"?

I will admit, I had these moments. Out of the three of us parenting Gavin, I think I was the one who had the easiest time accepting that we may all need to talk about the possibility of him having some not-so-average issues to deal with. I had been in enough Daycare classrooms having been a Teachers Assistant for years, to know that we were looking at and dealing with some drastically different situations with Gavin than other parents were dealing with their little guys and gals.

That does NOT mean that sitting down and looking at the big blue-red-yellow-blue-green-red pattern that is Google, was any easier for me emotionally. In my head I knew I must type in "Autism Check-List", but....my heart made my hands pause. I hesitated. I HOPED. I hoped that I was wrong, and that he wouldn't have any out of the ordinary obstacles to over come. You see....it isn't a diagnosis that makes your heart stop beating for a moment. It's realizing the LIFE in which it will effect, that makes you forget how to breath for a moment.

As a parent, you want to give your children all of the missed opportunities you had in your life. You want them to reap the benefits of the lessons you learned from your mistakes, so that they themselves need not make them. You want them to have it better than you did. So admitting that something could be "wrong" in any way, or that something beyond your control could get in the way of your Master Plan in giving them the 'cheat code' for life that you have made for them throughout your years.....is a tough pill to swallow.

I do understand that some parents would like to pretend everything is A-OK, and not because they are bad parents! It is purely because they sat in that delivery room, holding that child for the very first time and planned their future. They saw them in mud puddles, or in ballet slippers. They saw them bringing home all those straight A's and putting them on the fridge with pride. They imagined the first date, and how they would worry when he/she stayed out past curfew. They saw the cap and gown, and they looked forward to dropping them off at college for the first time. I get that.

But....what are your alternatives? NOT having the courage to research, and then seek out the opinion of a professional is the WORST thing you could do to help your child down their path to success. It is the single most guaranteed way to take your visions of success for them, and make them a MILLION times harder for that child to make a reality. If your child had an eye swollen shut with pink eye....would you not go to the doctor and ask for help? Well, if you see that your son/daughter is having issues that you feel aren't "average".... go ask some questions! Do some research! If their is one thing I have no tolerance for, it is when parents look the other way when they know in their heart that their is something in need of attention.

You would never look me in the eye and tell me that I did something wrong to cause Gavin's Asperger's, Tourette's, or ADHD. So, what have you got to lose?!?! No one is going to think that you pinned your child down and force fed the Autism Spectrum Disorders, slapped a Sensory-Patch on their arm, or sprinkled some Tourette's in their oatmeal when no one was looking. YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. No one will blame you. In all actuality, getting a diagnosis isn't about YOU. It's about your child. It's about getting educated on how to better lay down a path of success for THEIR future.

So, please. If you have EVER thought that their was something that deserved some extra thought or a little more questioning. If you've ever second guessed, or just had that 'gut feeling'. Do the right thing. Do what you KNOW is right. I know it's hard, but looking the other way is harder.

So, in closing....Put on your Big Girl Pants and GET OVER IT. For the sake of your child, get over it. The only thing you have to lose is the fear of the unknown. And wouldn't that be a wonderful thing to eliminate from your life? I sure know that since having Gavin diagnosed we have lost a lot of fear, and gained a lot of tools on how to better help him and how to let him help HIMSELF. We are a much happier, stronger family for having done it. You could be too :0)